Chet’s Celebration of Life

chet

I want to thank all of you for coming. Chet would be so humbled and in awe seeing all of you here! He would probably come in and say “This is for me?”

I am sure you all know how devastating grief is. I never thought I’d be without Chet. It wasn’t the cancer that took him and it wasn’t his age. I will explain more of this after lunch.

We never wanted a traditional funeral. As for Chet I hope he could be remembered for the kind and cheerful person he was. Rarely crabby. As hard as it is losing him, I would hope his joyful nature could be celebrated.

Thank you Jim and Ruth for coming all the way from Connecticut. I know Chet would appreciate that you came as well as I do. I hope Jim wasn’t too bored when I read off the fix it list! I am not a technical wizard by any means. Even changing batteries can be over whelming! And the terror of changing digital clocks for the time change. No anxiety there.

I thought the staff from More Diagnosis would be here.
I wanted to thank them for your very generous contribution to help sponsor this Celebration. Chet loved going to More. He always said this will be an easy day. They treated him like family and as if he was a rock star. He loved all of them like they loved him. There kindness to me is also greatly appreciated.

Thank you Lisa, for becoming a friend. Checking up on me daily. Making sure I’m ok. This is so kind of you. Plus taking me up to the mortuary twice. Once to take care of cremation arrangements and then to pick up Chet’s ashes. As well as shopping. Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated.

Thank you Joy, for helping me coordinate this Celebration and for helping to keep my frazzled brain straight.

And a big thank you to all of my neighbors for your compassion, understanding and offers to help. I really appreciate all of you.

I want to tell you about the seed packets you see on the tables. There is one for each of you. A small remembrance to take with you. If you got the zip lock bag with today’s date on it, you get to take home the plant also.

I would like to introduce you to Father Mike who will start us off with special prayers. He came to pray for Chet the night Chet passed. We will have lunch right after.

2:00 pm

I would like to tell you about Chet’s background.

Chet was in the Air Force for four years. He enlisted right after high school. He was stationed in Myrtle Beach, S.C. He wanted to go overseas and travel to other places. But they kept him there to work on flight simulators. When he got out of the Air Force he returned to Connecticut. I worked with a friend who was dating Chet’s cousin. Chet asked Patty if she knew of any women he could date. She introduced us and we dated for a year before we became engaged. We married in July, 1966. We were married for 57 years.

Two years after we were married, Chet was recruited by Boeing in Seattle to come and work for them on their flight simulators. We always wanted to see more of the U.S. so we bought a 1968 Mustang with no air conditioning and we drove the northern states in the middle of summer.

We were there a total of 5 years. But during that time, we were both caught up in a major job layoff. I worked for a company that made the black boxes. There are many smaller companies that support Boeing. Boeing works on contracts, so when were known for going through down times. We were both called back to our jobs, but Chet knew he wanted to get on with a position that was more stable.

That led to Chet being hired by DuPont. And the position was near Chicago, Illinois. Once again we took our Mustang back across the northern states, but this time it was mid-February.

We rolled into Rock Spring, Wyoming. I think it was late afternoon and it was already 42 below zero. Chet said no problem with the car, he would just take the battery out and take it into the motel room. Well when we closed the motel room door there was frost on the inside of the door.

Chet was always a morning person and he got up earlier. Took the battery out to the car. Tried to open the hood and couldn’t get it to budge. Frozen. He tried to open the driver’s side door. He pulled and he pulled and pulled. When he got the door open the rearview mirror fell off the windshield. (People did laugh).

We had to have the car towed to a garage to thaw out. When we left people were snow mobiling in that bitter cold.

I am telling this story because on the night that Ruth and Jim arrived at my home, Ruth had a dream about Chet. In the dream, Ruth was walking near our home when she saw a brown blanket on the side of the path. She walked past the blanket and Chet called out to her. He said he was cold. But looked healthy. She put her arms around him and walked him back to the house. On the way Chet told Ruth to tell me to tell a funny story at the Celebration before I talked about his illness.

Chet and I spent 5 years in Chicago before he was promoted to a position at DuPont’s home office in Delaware. He worked behind a desk doing reports and other kinds of paperwork. He didn’t like it. He is so much better working with his hands on mechanical projects.

Two years later a position opened up in L.A. It was in field service and he liked that much better. We settled in Newbury Park, near Thousand Oaks.

This time the Mustang went on the moving truck. We had another car we drove out. This time through the southern states.

When the moving truck arrived, they opened the door and this intense odor of gasoline flowed out. Somehow the Mustang had a flat tire in transit, it fell on top of the garage door opener which was tucked underneath. This punctured the gas tank and whatever gas was left in it leaked out. There were belongings for three families on that truck. But it permeated all our furniture.

Other than that we had a fairly normal 13 years there. Chet’s territory was moving north and our neighborhood was changing. So we decided to move to Buellton.

Chet worked for 48 years in the medical instrument field. He loved his work and the people he saw every day at different labs. He formally retired in 2020, but when he told his accounts, a few told him they would close the lab since no one could replace him. That was before anyone knew he’d be coming back as an independent contractor. He then helped with repairing the blood analyzers and he also trained the newer field service engineers. He was lucky enough to work the schedule he wanted and the type of equipment he wanted to work on.

In January 2023, Chet had a complete physical including a treadmill stress test. After the allotted time, he told the doctor he could keep going, but they said that would just
be showing off. We always took our health very seriously. Exercise was not a fad, it was part of our life.

Also in January 2023, Chet developed pain in his left arm. In 2014, he had developed a rare sarcoma in his right arm. It remained stable in the upper right arm but the nature of that type of sarcoma, a form of soft tissue cancer, was that it would keep coming back, usually in the same place. Last year, Chet was treated with Keytruda, a cancer drug used in immunotherapy. That cleared the cancer from his right arm, so when the pain developed in his left arm, we never expected that it had spread. Testing showed that it had spread into other parts of his body. Radiation was scheduled for April, chemo in May. However, once radiation was done to his upper spine, it damaged his cervical spine. His head dropped forward and he could no longer stand up straight. He went from 145 pounds to 123 pounds during radiation in April. At the end of April, he developed breathing problems due to damage to his lung. Chemo in May was easier for him than the radiation and he gained back some weight. However, by June 25th, he experienced more serious breathing problems. I took him over to our local ER. They gave him oxygen and told us his heart was going into A-Fib which was a new event for him. They transported him down to our bigger Cottage Hospital in Santa Barbara. His lung had collapsed. He spent 11 days there. I stayed at a nearby hotel. He was doing pretty good once he got home. Still drove right up to August. But needed supplemental oxygen.

He was also having more limitations with his left arm. He never had any pain or limitations when he had the cancer in his right arm. But by September 6th, he needed to have fluid drained from that lung. It was downhill after that. By September 29th, Chet was back in the ER with more breathing problems. The next day, the nurse told me he had eaten a really good breakfast and asked for more. By lunch, he only picked at his food. Due to not being able to absorb enough oxygen he was developing confusion. By early afternoon, he looked right at me and said he was getting ready to go home. I never thought much about that since he was experiencing confusion. And he always loved naps. But this time it would be different. He drifted into a deep sleep and could not be awakened. He opened his eyes once for a few seconds and closed them immediately. By 8:30, the doctor called and said he

By 8:30 pm, the doctor called and said he expected Chet would be passing away that night, or in a few days. By 10:30, the night nurse came in and gave him IV fluids. By 11:00, I turned to get a tissue and she said he just stopped breathing. I stayed another hour and then left. This was never what we expected. Even though the cancer was stable in June, it was coming back. But it was the damage to his lung that took him.

He was a great husband, brother and son and friend to many. He would help everyone. We should all be as lucky to share such a wonderful relationship as we had for 57 years. I miss him every second of the day and night.

Others spoke after I finished. All presented a wonderful presentation of respect and admiration for Chet.

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